Or at least, the undisciplined past few weeks.
The very last chapter in the book of Matthew gives us “the great commission”. Jesus tells his followers in verse 19, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…” After spending the past year in a one on one discipleship study at church, I have learned it is no coincidence how closely related are the words disciple and discipline. I am convinced that it is not possible to do one without the other.
By nature I enjoy a disciplined lifestyle. I like order and routine. Naturally, when my first child was born, I had to get used to the fact that sometimes, things don’t always go as planned! And over the years I’ve gotten into the good habits of eating right and excercising. Isn’t it funny how those things that can make me feel so good about myself are the first things to go by the wayside after a long weekend or a couple mornings sleeping in?
The same thing has happened with my quiet time since I’ve been working. It’s not happened. Not once. Not even at night. I am exhausted. But that’s a lame excuse, because a dear friend of mine works everyday (to my measly 3 days) and has to be at work before 7 am. She gets up at 4 freakin’ 45 in the morning to do her quiet time. Now that, my friend, is discipline!!! She is my quiet time idol!!! And in case you are wondering, yes she has children, one of which still depends on her to wake him up and get him ready for school.
So I am pretty down on myself at the moment. Then I received a voice mail when I got home last night that they have a woman in our church who has signed up for this years discipleship class, and they think I would be a good candidate to disciple her. Oh, and I feel soooo unqualified. When I was asked several weeks ago if I felt ready to teach, I was high on the Holy Spirit. I was working on my gentleness, hearing Him speak to me, living in a peaceable home. Everything was great and so I said, “Sure, I’ll teach”. Now I’m afraid I will be leading her in a wrong direction.
Well, maybe not the wrong direction, but I certainly won’t be feeding her nourishing, life altering material until I get myself back on track. These days, when I slump into “undisciplined mode”, it affects so much more than just me.
4 Comments
Jodi-stop putting yourself down! You will be an excellent teacher. I consider myself your “senior” and I have learned a lot from you in the little time I have known you. You don’t have to be perfect to teach-just love the Lord, available and teachable yourself.
Teachers always learn, too, and if you can make this woman see that your are human and “normal” that will be something she can relate to. If you seemed perfect, she would think that might be beyond her reach. You’ll do fine!
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Pastor Gary spoke on quarreling last Wednesday night. And he admitted that just that morning, Leslie got back home from being gone for 5 days, and they had the biggest argument for no apparent reason. He no longer felt worthy of preaching such a message. ~ New levels, new devils. Don’t get discouraged… I think a lot of times, it’s a good indicator of just how close we’re getting to something GOOD! :)