Fruit Inspection

This morning you greeted me in the usual way with a big smile and a “Good morning, Mommy”. Then you quickly started jabbering about what you wanted to do today. Everything from playing with your new birthday Barbie’s to the Christams party at ballet this afternoon. And while I pride myself on being a morning person, as hard as I tried to keep up with your thoughts at 7 am, I was left looking bewildered as my early morning brain tried to catch up with yours.

How about just a hug for Mommy instead?

We held each other tightly and I got tears in my eyes as I thought about how fast 4 years have gone by. Most of me wishes that I could keep you this young. Small enough to wrap up in my arms. Innocent enough to believe the world will never hurt you for who you are and what you stand for. And still tender enough to need kisses for your boo-boo’s.

But the truth is I am not raising a little girl. I am raising a young woman. You grow and change everyday. Not just in appearance, but on the inside as well. And you require me to mature even more.

Having a child in my life has forced me to look at areas where I needed personal growth. Areas that I would just as soon forget about. When I wonder, “where’d that tone come from?”, or “how can she be so disrespectful”, and I realize that I am your biggest influence, it’s not hard to figure out exactly where it all comes from. As they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. And that would be another great reason to stay 3. If I could just have more time to fix myself, maybe I could be a better example to you.

Although I beat myself up a lot about my imperfections, you consistently show me what a lovely lady you are becoming. You show genuine concern for other children who are upset (except for Emery!), you regularly ask adults if you can help them with anything, and recently, when saying your prayers, you go beyond thanking God for your many stuffed animals (by name!), and include some of your friends.

Saturday was the first birthday party you had where friends were invited. You glowed with excitement when you saw the number of dresses you had to choose from for the tea party, and you immediately wanted to put the pink one on. I said you must wait until all the guests arrive, and as the girls came in, one by one, you continued to ask, “Are all the guests here yet?”

After everyone finished a little craft project, a very special guest arrived. Sleeping Beauty!!! Then it was time to pick a party dress and head over to the makeup counter for blush, eye shadow, and lip gloss. Oh, and don’t forget the purple nail polish. It was the finishing touch. You all looked so beautiful! (More party pictures here).

Once your coronation ceremony was over and you had crowned all the other princesses, you all gathered around the dining room table for “tea” and cakes. And finally, you opened all the wonderful birthday presents your friends brought for you.

I didn’t ask, but I wondered if in all the excitement of the day you had forgotten what you said the night before. “Mommy, I don’t want the party anymore.” Intrigued, I asked, “Why not?” “I don’t want to be 4”, was your reply. I guess that means we are in this together!