Fruit Inspection

My friend Michele gave me the new Point of Grace CD a couple of weeks ago, “How You Live”. It has some great songs on it, but one in particular has struck a cord with me. The name of the song is “Fight” and for the past week and a half or so I’ve had it set on repeat in the CD player of my truck. The kids haven’t said anything about it until this morning when Savannah made the comment, “Mommy, isn’t it funny that every Preschool day that song is playing?”

I love all the words in the song. It talks about our pride, greed, doubt, and guilt and how deceptive it can be in keeping us away from the love of God. The refrain says:

“Real…My Heart is aching to be Real…So I’m coming to You with…All my Broken Motives…All my Selfish Dreams…All of my Foolishness…Now I understand where it Leads…I want to be in Your Love…I want to be so much More…I know You’re Reaching Out, So what am I Fighting You For?”

Yesterday Emery was playing in the bathtub and it was time to get out. He pulled the plug to let the water down the drain. I sat on the toilet next to the tub with a big, fluffy towel ready to snuggle him tight as soon as he stood up. But as the water level dropped, he felt the cold air on his wet body and he started to shiver. “I cold, Mommy!!! I cold!!!”

“I know, Baby. C’mon. Stand up so I can dry you off.”

“Noooooo. I cooooooold. Nooooo.”

“Emery, I know it’s cold. But as soon as you get up I can put this towel on you. Mommy will keep you warm.”

But he couldn’t hear me anymore. He scrunched down in the tub, holding his knees to his chest and crying. He knew I was there with a towel. I have wrapped him in a big, fluffy towel every day of his life for 2 years. But on this day, he didn’t trust me.

As I struggled with bending over and picking up a slippery, wet, squirming, heavy toddler who was now crying harder than ever I thought about the refrain of that song. “What am I fighting You for?” Emery had now balled himself up on the bath mat while I turned to grab the towel again and refused to stand up, which only made it that much harder to wrap him warmly. He continued to cry as I tried to convince him that I had his best interest at heart. All he had to do was trust me.

I’m sure I do this all the time with my Heavenly Father. Either I’m not listening or not trusting. I think I know what’s best for me. I have it all under control. I get myself in messes and make it that much harder to hear His voice. To trust His words. And the farther away I get, the colder I become. Before too long I can no longer see that He is standing right next to me with a soft warm towel.

Lord, thank you so much for continuing to reach out to me. Thank you for allowing me to raise these children and for all the ways they have helped me to understand who you are. I thank you for Michele and her friendship. And I thank you for my soft, warm towel. Amen