The bible says that God gives His children gifts when they accept Jesus as His son and the Holy Spirit comes upon them. Romans 12:6-8 gives examples of these gifts, all very different, all equally important within the body of Christ.
On a completely different note, although totally related in my head today, is Hebrews 12:1 which talks about “…throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles…” My sin that snares me up is FEAR.
How in the world have I tied these verses together, you ask? Well, I am wondering, if I have a gift of ministering one on one (or at the very least, in a small group setting) and I am asked to give my testimony in front of a group of people, but my FEAR holds me back, am I wrong to not share it? Is it a cop out to say I just don’t have that gift? It sounds like it, doesn’t it?
But everybody’s not supposed to do everything. 1 Peter 4:10 states, ” Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in various forms”. And verse 11 says, “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God…” Well, I can assure you that if I were to speak in front of a group, with everybody staring at me with grand expectations, it would sound NOTHING like “the very words of God”. It would sound more like a sputtering, stamering idiot that was drunk and high on crack cocaine.
Not exactly the picture of “administering God’s grace”.
So I keep going back to the verse in Hebrews. Should I be focusing a lot of energy on getting over my fear of public speaking? (And I should probably stop right here and say that I know this is a common fear. Most people do not like to speak in public. But for me, it’s more than just butterflies in the stomach. I get physically ill. I shake, turn beet red, and hypervenilate. It’s not a pretty picture. Trust me.) Or can I just let it go to strengthen and improve the abilities I enjoy?
As our trip to Honduras gets closer and we have more meetings regarding our agenda, I am having second thoughts about going. I thought the plane ride over there was going to be the worst part. But Sunday we discussed putting on a skit and giving our testimonies. Talk about getting WAY OUTSIDE my comfort zone!!! At one point, the FEAR in me got so great I had to leave the room. I almost had to ask Jeremy to pull over on the way home so I could throw up.
For anyone who does not struggle with FEAR, I’m sure you think I am overreacting. But I am telling you this is a very real thing for me. And I am trying my best to stay in God’s will for me on this trip. But every fiber in my being wants to cancel my plane tickets and stay home. Where I’m safe. And where I am not being asked to talk to anybody but my children.
1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
8 Comments
Jodi, I have a lot to share with you on this. Please don’t think of not going. Go back to
when God called you to take this trip. I believe it’s really hard for people to understand
this fear but I know God will help you through it!
Nothing is impossible with God! I say this as I remind myself of the organizing talk I have to give on Friday, yikes!
God doesn’t call the equipped…he equips the called. You’ll be just fine with His help.
Again, I say, look at where your fear lies. You’re not afraid of giving your testimony – it’s posted on your blog for the world to read. We’re not all given the same talents and abilities. Look at it this way – if they asked you to sing a solo, would you hesitate to say no? Really, what is the difference! But, you should most definitely go to Honduras. You’ll be so glad you did. And who knows what ministry God has specifically for you one-on-one! I’m praying for you:)
God’s not asking you to give a speech or be an actress. He’s asking you to tell others what He means to you.
No one there will be grading you or looking for perfection. They want to hear what you have to say.
Don’t think of it as PUBLIC speaking. Think of it as connecting with each individual in the most efficient way possible!
For God has not given us a sprit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. – 2 Tim. 1:7 I’m praying for you sister.
OH girl. All I can say is God does not allow us to stay comfortable. When He called me into speaking it was furthest away from what I wanted. But He called and so I go where He sends me. I do feel sick most of the time and almost every time I want to talk myself out of doing it but I know that would be against God’s will. So, it remains to be a challenge. But it is good like that for me otherwise pride would probably sink in and I would think it was me doing it. Atleast the way it goes for me is I know I am so not able to do this. It is only through God’s power and grace. That is all.
Much love,
Angela
BTW-I am lifting a prayer for you that you will do what God is telling you to do. I think you know what that means. :)
You are growing sister! Plain old growing pains! God’s about to do something huge with you and through you! He is able to overcome this fear that grips you! My husband knew two guys who led a revival in college with him. My husband led the music and the other guys did the speaking. My husband said that one of his friends was prepared down to the last note. He followed his outline and spoke very well. Nothing happened in the service. The next night the other guy gets up and can’t even get through the announcements well. He falls all over himself in his sermon, but the Holy Spirit moved and worked through him and that place was filled with His, God’s glory!
Be encouraged and I will be praying for you!