And speaking of preschool…
Last night at the dinner table I asked Savannah about school this week and she went on to tell me that she had to sit in the “Sweet Seat”. (The sweet seat is the name of the chair that sits in the corner of the room. When children misbehave, they must sit there until they can be sweet.) When I asked her what actions led her to the sweet seat, she told me she stuck her tongue out at Ms. Hilda. (!)
My initial response welling up inside of me was embarassment. “You did what??? Why would you do that???”, I wanted to shout, but I stayed relatively calm. This is one of those defining moments in parenting, I thought. How I react to her telling me this may determine if and when she tells me about more poor choices she makes and the consequences she endures.
So we talked a little bit about what happened. I found myself wanting to know if any other kids were making faces. Or if anybody else had ever been sent to the corner to sit for “2 days” (that’s how long she said she was there…he he). I immediately wanted reassurance that my kid wasn’t the only one!
From what I could gather, Savannah was the first one in her class to be disciplined in the sweet seat. And this was the first time that I have ever felt the need to explain to a teacher that, “no, I promise, she has never done that before at home, or we would have told her it was unacceptable”. The whole experience was new for me and the feelings of parental failure were coming in strong.
Then I remembered something that our Pastor had talked about Sunday morning. He had touched on the subject of comparing our kids to other kids, and how we sometimes use that as a way to judge ourselves as parents. “Well, at least my kid’s not doing what that kid is doing…I must be doing a good job”. He reminded us that there is only one person we should be comparing our children to and that is Jesus Christ. Are they displaying Christ-like qualities?
So I stepped back and removed myself from the fleshy feelings that wanted to control the situation and made a mental “note to self” that it was okay for Savannah to make a bad choice. It was even better that Ms. Hilda addressed it and let Savannah know that is something that will not be permissible in her classroom. I am not a failure and it is not a direct reflection on my poor parenting skills that she tried to get away with questionable behavior around another adult. She was simply testing the waters.
And all the tests that she is throwing out to me these days are opportunities for me to point her in the right direction. To give her better solutions and problem solving skills. To develop in her the fruits of the spirit. The very same fruits I am developing in myself. (How appropriate.)
