Fruit Inspection

When Savannah turned 3 I decided it was time for her to have a regular chore around the house. Up until that point, “chores” were really just a way to make her feel important after her little brother came along, and they varied from day to day.

In light of our recent birthday celebration I thought it would only be appropriate to give Emery a chore as well. No way will I be accused of being a sexist!

The first thing Savannah learned was emptying the dishwasher. She was responsible for everything except knives and the things that were too high for her to reach, like the adult cups, plates, and bowls. The other items were silverware, kids’ place settings, and tupperware. Stuff like that. It’s been a nice arrangement, but she has told me several times that she is tired of that job.

It only seems natural then to let her pass on the wealth of knowledge she has acquired regarding this task to her brother. And let me tell you, she was more than happy to comply with my request.

But I think she was under the assumption that if she gave up the dishwasher job, she would be free from other household responsibility. And that is just not the case.

At 5 and a half years old, she should really be doing more than I have asked so far. It’s totally my fault for not requiring more from her. Most of the clean up duty that goes on around here is with my help. It’s just faster that way. But speed doesn’t teach my kids to be responsible for themselves or give them a sense of satisfaction when they complete a job.

Yesterday I decided I would no longer help Savannah clean her room. This took loads of will power on my part! I just knew she would be putting Little Ponies in the Barbie cases and trash in her pajama drawer. Oh MERCY!!! But I came to the conclusion that it’s her room. As long as it’s tidy and I can run the vacuum in there, it shouldn’t matter to me that cherries from the Hi-Ho Cherry-O game are now in the Sequence box.

I expected a little resistance to my new rule, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened. And really, it only confirmed that it was something that I should have done a long time ago.

Our first discussion of her room came Sunday night. She had a friend over this weekend and they definitely had a great time in her room! So when she went to bed that night I told her that the next day I wanted to take her swimming at Nanny’s pool (which she LOVES!). But that she had to have her room picked up before she could go.

I reminded her of our conversation when she woke up Monday morning and then I set out to clean up the rest of the house from Emery’s birthday party. Around noon I went to put my swimsuit on and peeked into her room. She hadn’t done a single thing. So I went to find her and said, “Hey, I’m putting my suit on and getting ready to go. Your room is still dirty so have you decided not to come?”

“You’re supposed to help me,” she said.

Oh no she di-int!!! Whoa…”supposed to” help her? I nipped that in the bud quickly, finished getting ready to go, and then Emery and I left for the pool. Thankfully Jeremy was working from home yesterday and I was able to make a much bigger impact by leaving her behind, than if we all had to stay home because she failed to clean her room.

This morning her room still looked the same. So after breakfast I said, “Savannah, you still haven’t cleaned your room and I want that done today. You can do it quickly and then go about your business or you can take all day. It doesn’t matter to me, but you can’t come out until it’s clean.”

With all the screaming, crying, and carrying on that followed you would have thought I asked her to sacrifice her precious Meo on an alter of fire. She kept insisting that it is my job to help her and at one point came out and yelled over the bannister, “Only good Mommies help their kids clean up!!!! You are NOT a good Mommy!!!! Did you hear me???”

I did hear her. The neighbors heard her I’m sure. But I just kept my cool, occasionally reminding her she needed to go back in her room, close the door, and she’s welcome to come out when she’s finished.

After about 3 hours she finally relented and cleaned up her space. She has a bit of a chip on her shoulder this afternoon, so we’ll have to see how it goes when I ask her to load the dishwasher tonight. I mean, if she’s loading it and Emery’s unloading it…does that mean I’m off the hook for that one???