I am so frustrated this morning. First of all, I have been trying to be very disciplined in going to bed early so I can get up and not only have my quiet time, but also get on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Last night I went to bed on time, but Jeremy was not feeling very well and kept tossing and turning. Around midnight I gave up and headed for the couch.
I woke again around 4 and climbed back into bed with him. At that time, I breathed a little prayer asking God to help me to get up again in just 2 short hours. Thirty minutes later, Emery woke up hollering, “Maaaaa-Maaaa”. That is REALLY not like him AT ALL so I got upstairs quickly to see what was wrong. He seemed fine to me so I changed his diaper and shrugged it off as a bad dream.
But his crying woke up Savannah, who was now standing in the hallway outside her bedroom door. As I tucked her back in bed she told me she was scared. I assured her Emery was fine and decided to hang out in her bed for a while. It was now 5:30.
Lord, what do you want me to do? What time should I get up? Can I try to work in my quiet time later? No, that never works out. Maybe I’ll just give up the treadmill today or try to get that in before bed. Except that American Idol is on tonight. Crap. I’m putting TV before my health. Why is this happening?
By this time Savannah is snoring so I decide to oh-so-very-carefully sneak out of her room. It’s 6:08. Surprisingly I am not tired. It could be all the narration spinning through my head, but I decide it’s a God thing. He’s gotten me up and He wants to share something with me in my time with Him. So I gather my devotional and Bible, and ask the Holy Spirit to come into my heart and reveal His truth to me.
About 10 minutes later, here comes Savannah. And here comes my frustration. I have been dealing with this for over 2 years. Ever since we put her in a big girl bed and she could get herself up in the morning. I used to joke around about it saying that my Bible had some sort of high-pitched alarm that only she could hear. It seems that no matter what time I get up, be it 5:00 or 7:00, as soon as I peel back the pages of my Bible, she appears.
But it’s really not funny. Not to me anyways. It’s such a stumbling block in my walk, to get up early expecting to hear from God, only to have it interrupted by my daughter. Some mornings she leaves me alone. I have told her what I’m doing and she says she is going to have her quiet time too. Other times she just sits on my lap and we pray together. But on mornings like this one, it is just an irritation. She keeps coming in and asking for TV or breakfast or to play.
This was supposed to be my time. I have resorted to giving her the “I mean business evil eye and finger point”. Now I feel bad about that. I am guessing that I was supposed to learn something from all this today. I still don’t know what it is. But I really want to figure it out. Two years is really too long to keep going around the same mountain.
9 Comments
Sometimes you just have to ask God to help you deal with your blessings! :) With the children the ages they are right now, some days you may get a chance to sit with Him…but other days just ask Him to walk with you. Either way, you can learn His truths and His purposes for you.
He may be trying to speak to you/teach you through the time with Savannah. It’s amazing how He can speak through others… especially the little ones. I think it’s good that you tell her what you’re trying to do and that she gets to witness that. So, even if she’s not there to teach you, you’re still managing to teach her. It keeps bringing to my mind the great book by B. Moore “Feathers” and about their family devotional times they developed. Good habit for her to get into as well as you. Don’t get caught up in your ideal of how devotional time should be spent and benefitted from. Keep trying and as far as workouut – you’ve got Tivo and a treadmill with a humongous tv in the room? Sounds like an open and shut case to me. :)
Turn that ‘stumblin’ block’ into a stepping stone!!! :) (Download Lari White’s ‘Stepping Stone’ – great song!) :)
OK-this is a tough one-I SO feel your frustration. I feel I can’t concentrate on what God is telling me with a little one
at my feet or in my lap but one day I heard Jacob say to my mother-in-law: “When I get up my Mom is always reading
her Bible.” I really couldn’t believe it because I thought he didn’t notice. On the other hand, you would hope
that she would not do this EVERY morning! Just keep remembering what a legacy you are leaving her and maybe one
day, when her little girl does the same thing, she will remember how patient you were with her! She is “catching” the most
important thing in life from you-a deep, loving relationship with your Savior. Oh, and how about walking while American
Idol is on after Emery is in bed? You’re a great MOm!
In addition to what has already been said–I believe that God understands where a young mother is–he knows all about the distractions. Don’t feel like your quiet time has to be done in a specific way. God knows your heart and He knows you are making every effort to do what is right before Him. Do your best and try not to be impatient with your little ones when they come in and disrupt–they are little for such a short period of time. My kids are older and still manage to come knocking on the door when I am in the middle of my Bible reading–Satan must think that is really funny! As for the exercise–it looks like Jessica got you–no excuse–the treadmill is in front of the television! Keep on keepin’ on–this too shall pass! ( Hope I didn’t come across as a know-it-all!! ) By the way, I sent you an email and it came back to me. It was concerning scrapbooking and making cards. I just suggested that you might be able to make a little card with the scraps from whatever page you are making and let the card be in the same theme as the scrap page! Have a great day!
I’ve been there for the last 12 years. I used to do my quiet time while the little ones watched Sesame Street. Now I homeschool and I’m not an early riser, so the best I can do it read something while I’m on the elliptical machine whenever that is.
I’ve basically given up on what others define a quiet time or devotion. I could never live up to the expectation of sitting quietly and hearing from God with little ones around. So I don’t even try any more. But what I try to do is hear Him throughout the day, through the chaos. Though I have to admit when I do wake up before everyone on those rare occasions it is such a blessing, and I wish I did it more. But when I don’t there’s no more guilt. It’s taken me a long time to get to this point.
Don’t I know how you feel!!! I always have one of three interruptions, at least. And four if you count Chanch. I am not a morning person, but, I, like you, know my quiet time will not get done later in the day (due to those same interruptions). But, I agree with Jessica. It’s good that your children at least see you attempting to spend time with the Lord. If, however, you ever figure out a system that works, please do share it. Until then, ask Savannah if God told her to tell you something!
Jodi, Maybe you could try reading her Bible stories. I have a great Bible for children with each story only one or two pages long. I’ve been reading each one in order at breakfast time, so by the end she’ll have read the whole Bible and know what God purposes for mankind. She always says things that make me think too.
Maybe God was trying to tell you seek him and share that journey with Savannah? I like your Mom’s comment about sometimes being able to seek him and others having to ask him to walk with you. That definitely echos in my life.
:)