Fruit Inspection

It is now 12:45 and I just put both kids down for their naps. It’s about an hour earlier than normal, but in my defense, this is what I’ve been dealing with for the past 6 hours:

1. (After a VERY lengthy conversation with Savannah…) “Yes, I PROMISE there are no sharks in the lake behind our house.”

2. (To strange man walking around in the woods between the lake and our house with a DNR shirt on…) “No, Sir, I didn’t know our boat ramp was on county property.”

3. (As I asked Savannah if she would like to wear her Dora flip flops outside…) “Why do you have that blank look on your face? You do speak English, don’t you? Hablar Espanol?”

4. (After much crying surrounding the Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch sprinkler, which as I was hooking up to the hose falsely imagined my children laughing as they played and splashed in the water…”thanks Mom, your the best” I thought they would say. Instead…) “C’mon you two, I think our yard is big enough that you don’t have to fight over the same patch of grass that you both want to sit on!”

5. (After asking Savannah twice to please stop playing with her cup that way, and her ignoring me, lunch went flying to the floor. And then…) “Why must you wait until I yell to do what I asked? Wouldn’t it be easier on both of us if you did it the first time when my voice is soft and sweet? Do you like it when I yell? HUH???? DO YOU???????”

6. (This conversation ensued right before naptime as we were getting dried off from playing in the sprinkler…)
Me: “What are you doing?”
Her: “Combing Emery’s hair.”
Me: “Do you think you are doing it nicely?”
Her: “Yes I do.”
Me: “Then why is he crying?”
Her: “He’s crying?”
Me: “Would you like for me to comb your hair that nicely?”
Her: “Ummm, I will try harder to be gentle.”
Me: “That would be great. Thanks.”

7. (To woman on the phone that called to confirm my spa appointment…) “Yes, thank you, I will be there in the morning for my manicure, pedicure, facial, and deep tissue massage…what?…You’d like to include an extra 30 minutes for no charge?…Sure…Thanks!”

Oh, wait, that last one was just the fantasy voices in my head. Sorry! Jeremy leaves tonight for Las Vegas and won’t be home until Sunday. I was originally asked to go and he even offered again last night if I wanted to join him. Now the offer is looking pretty good. The whole “Vegas Scene” is not my thing, but at this point, hiding out in a hotel room with room service and the Lifetime channel is looking pretty good. I guess I have a few more hours to decide. :)